FT @ Mother New York 

Not Free for Booking

Dominicans call me tígerasa and I’ve done a lot of things for cash. From wrangling pre-k schoolchildren, managing warehouses full of exclusive merch for crazy Bon Jovi, UFC, and NIN fans, taking Charlie Sheen's sports bets at an offshore gambling site, to selling copy for things like hemorrhoid cream, booze, rat poison, and sugary drinks.

You could say I work hard for the money. So if you're looking to fill your weird/funny quota, hire me and I’ll work hard for you too. Resume ︎

#obsessed w/ true crime, pokémon/yo-kai, drag, and inappropriate [everything] jokes.